Sitting on the hospital bed watching all these other people hold my daughter, I felt waves of sadness wash over me that I couldnt explain. By Susan Adcox SheKnows is a part of Penske Media Corporation. Being outside has a much lower risk than being inside, says Dr. Schaffner. A wet or soiled diaper can cause tears. The lucky ones even get paidparental leave. June 1, 2012 - first u/s, heartbeat 124 BPM!! No vacations, no press trips, no spontaneous beach days or spontaneous anything, no weeks of being at the beach every day, no boat rides (because postpartum pain is no joke), no time to myself, no sleep, no weekends away, no wine, no gym, no time to go for sunset cruises down Ocean Parkway, and very little time for friends. You know what's best for the safety and health of your baby. Newborns can sleep about 16 hours a day and sometimes more. Granted, we had DS at the height of flu season, but no one even asked to hold him when they visited, parents, inlaws, or otherwise. For more information on cookies please refer to our cookies Often, it is the child's partner who causes the problems, sometimes as a form of revenge. 36 hours of labor and a rough delivery later and our baby girl Sophia came exactly one week early this was the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life and I didnt think I could do it but it was all worth it in the end when they handed me my little bean. services and Nemours Foundation. Will the COVID-19 Vaccine Be Safe for Babies? Some expectant parents say that they aren't taking hospital visitors. Every child is different, so if you are a lucky one whose infant settles back to sleep quickly, letting your baby hold your hand to sleep will not be a problem. That's a lot of
Answer (1 of 8): It is completely appropriate for a mom or dad to want to say no when someone asks to hold their brand new baby! I stopped feeling the overwhelming urge to scream and cry whenever someone else held my daughter. "Have a core set of helpers and visitors that you know are up to date on their protective vaccines," says Dr. Hasson. What if I was doing the wrong thing by having my daughter so surrounded by other people in the first few days of her life? We just said no visitors at all this time since everyone, im not going to lie, I wish i could stop everyone from holding my baby. Their feet should land on either side of your hand, angled closer to the ground so the baby is at a . Feedback on Am I being a bad parent by not letting other people hold my new baby?. Be VERY cautious in the first month of life. Anyone who plans to visit a newborn should be immunized against pertussis, and, when in season, influenza, advises Dr. Alexander. Sometimes maternal grandparents have more access to a new baby than paternal grandparents, but it can be just the opposite. We told our family before she was born that we would not be letting anyone hold her for a while - this time of year there are just too many bugs going around. It doesn't cost a penny, but the payoffs can be enormous. They are creating a protected period for forming a family unit. My personal opinion is that it is ridiculous to not let healthy family members hold a new baby. Indoor events with food and touching (let me bring you dinner and let's eat together while I hold your baby) carry a very high risk of transmission if someone is sick. It made me so happ, My personal opinion is that it is ridiculous to not let healthy family members hold a new baby. Updated: June 3, 2021. Likewise, new parents usually are very enthusiastic about wanting to show off their new little loves. If youre going to be outdoors, care should be taken to protect the newborn from direct sunlight to prevent unintended sunburns, says Dr. Alexander. Moms with newborns - not letting people hold your baby? And dad can help out with stroller walks, diaper changes, housework, and other things as well, to help you feel less overwhelmed. Forget about the common cold. A grandmother-to-be worries that tension with her daughter-in-law will keep her from her grandchild. No judgements either way just looking to see what people's views are .. Co-sleeping means sleeping in close proximity to your baby, sometimes in the same bed and sometimes nearby in the same room (room-sharing). "Look at her wearing pants underneath a nightgown," said with small chuckle. If breastfeeding isn't possible, use infant formula. You may wonder whether it's safe to let people touch your newborn. Most newborns need eight to 12 feedings a day about one feeding every two to three hours. We told our
Family members who visit you and your baby may want to hold them. After what has felt like an absolute eternity to everyone else (and probably you, too), youve finally welcomed your newborn baby. 6. Yes, youre being a bit unreasonable. Don't let people kiss your newborn infant. Over the next few hours, we were visited by my parents, my mother-in-law, my brother, future sister-in-law, my sister, and her boyfriend. Just stayed silent. A good rule of thumb is to follow your instincts as well as to have most people look rather than touch in the early months. I think it's stupid to not let your parents hold your baby. Avoid indoor exposures to people not in your household. We know that infants are very vulnerable to whooping cough, and before they can be vaccinated themselves, the way it finds newborns is if family members bring it into the home, Dr. Schaffner explains. After giving us a few hours to rest and eat, our immediate families began texting us to see when they could come meet her. Rest her head in the crook of your elbow, facing your breast, with her body turned inward toward you. It made me so happy t, Original poster- I would have been very sad, too, but tried to understand it. Start by selecting which of these best describes you! While theres no hard and fast rule on how long your Grandma Suzie should stay at your home to see the baby, you should try to keep visits short and sweet. I'm wet. "Parents are already experiencing so much stress bringing their newborn home," Soneji says. I didn't agree but didn't disagree as well. No parents, no friends, no visitors. Nobody has a right to your baby, and that includes close family. Fun for everyone, right? Is this reader being unreasonable? Feel free to be a mama bear, It's up to you what you ask of your visitors. Why would parents do this to grandparents? people who the baby would be exposed to and there's no where to draw
What the mother and child need is peace. Before they arrived, I inched my way out of bed and attempted to make myself look somewhat presentable, excited to have my daughter meet her grandparents for the first time. Flu is particularly dangerous in babies and they cannot be vaccinated until they are 6 months old. Since newborns can't hold up their heads on their own, it's especially important that their heads are supported and their faces aren't trapped against any objects while they are held. 483623. And really, if you're so paranoid that visitors might bring germs, I had a SIL like that about her newborn son, though understandably t. First all thanks for all of the responses. [1] "Zoom or skype visits are a good way to introduce baby to the world as well," says Dr. Khan. Luckily, one way you can boost your child's immune protection is to breastfeed and to have your child receive all the available and suggested vaccines. Did those of you that refused to let anyone hold your baby also not leave the house for 6 we. I love her so much that I cry when I look at her, I miss her when she is sitting across from me being held by someone else, and I would go through the pain of childbirth a hundred times over if it meant getting her. Am I wrong? For example, if there were a spike in influenza cases where a family member is traveling from, you can find out if theyve had their flu shot or have been feeling ill. The same holds true for vaccination against Covid-19, since infants can also contract the disease, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported. Simple yet common rules for our baby we thought. Please be kind. But for one Redditor, it was a harrowing moment. This week, one first-time mum asks if refusing to engage in Pass The Baby is acceptable or just plain rude. Journal Media does not control and is not responsible Try not to let too many people handle your baby for too long, as he may get tired or become over-stimulated. Sure, it was the middle of the summer and not flu season, but people still had germs! In-laws may not see any reason to callyou are family after all, they think. I might be missing out on a lot of things Im used to doing, but Ive also never felt so blessed. November 7, 2022. by Janna Firestone. Your We know COVID-19 is contagious up to 48 hours before anyone develops symptoms, and activities like talking, singing, and sharing food indoors increase transmission rate significantly. A post on Mumsnet . A new baby is most vulnerable during its first six weeks of life. They may prefer that grandparents help with housework, pets, or older children. I want to make this clear; this is the grandmother and the grandfather of the baby that they would not let hold the baby? Verywell Family's content is for informational and educational purposes only. No one has ever made me happier. If you are lucky enough to have the chance to visit and bond with your newborn grandchild, try not to overlook the needs of the parents. 20002023 BabyCenter, LLC, a Ziff Davis company. The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. Arriving unannounced. Wire service provided by AFP and Press Association. Please note that The Journal uses cookies to improve your experience and to provide New Parent Stirs Drama By Not Letting Family Hold Their Baby Until Wife Woke Up From Surgery. If you take your baby outside of your home, insist that others near you wear a mask. All rights reserved. Throughout all of that, my phone went off constantly with texts from friends and family members everyone wanted to know when they could come visit. And she would like to continue creating content on health and lifestyle. Sick people should not hold your baby. But the bottom line is that there are three people who should be guaranteed bonding time at and after delivery: you, your partner, and Baby J. It's that threesome that needs to meet, greet, and get to know each other first and foremost. You also acknowledge that owing to the limited nature of communication possible on In a, I think it's a little weird that you asked to hold it. Welcome to the world my miracle, we prayed and prayed for you, and we can't believe you're here! Those super small onesies. But when can visitors see your newborn? The information on this website is of a general nature and available for educational purposes only and And don't be afraid to speak up if someone crosses a boundary that you're not comfortable with, says Dr. Hasson. Decide on a small circle of people that you feel comfortable touching or being near your newborn, suggests Dr. Ahmed. Things like no hot potato-ing or kissing their face. Make a polite post on either Facebook or Instagram letting people know the few guidelines you would like them to follow when they visit you. Feed your newborn on cue. Visiting boundaries is a rather sensitive topic as no new parent wants to offend the people who want to be a part of the celebration of the birth of their precious child. Signs of infection in newborns include fever (over 100.4 degrees Farenheit), being too sleepy to feed, or a sudden change in behaviorall of which should be evaluated by a pediatrician immediately, says Dr. Hasson. I don't mind family holding baby. RSV Cases Surge Across the U.S., What To Know and How To Protect Your Kids, How to Prepare for Your First Day Home With Your New Baby, The Best Infant Car Seats for Your Precious Cargo, The 11 Best Baby Wraps and Slings of 2023, A Complete Guide To Your Baby's Five Senses, The 7 Best Pacifiers for Newborns of 2023. Keeping your baby safe is your job. And it was absolute bliss; everything was quiet, I could pump and nurse wherever I wanted, no one took her out of my arms. For one thing, their partners are more likely to help out. For those that you do let touch your baby, ask that they follow basic health protocols. 1. Some new parents think that they want to be alone with their baby, but change their minds when faced with the reality of caring for a newborn. And OMG, that heavenly newborn baby smell. Hold your baby to your shoulder or chest. "Ideally, it. 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved, 6 Factors of Grandparent-Grandchild Closeness, Conflicts That Can Lead to Grandparent Estrangement, The 39 Best Gifts for Grandparents of 2023, Expert Tips on How Fathers Can Build a Custody Case, The Ups and Downs of Being a Young Grandparent, 12 Moms Share: What I Wish I Knew About the Postpartum Period. You can obtain a copy of the We are so blessed to have this little family. Then, of course, there was the emotional problem: Every once in awhile, when someone else was holding my daughter, tears would well up in my eyes and I would feel the sudden urge to grab her and walk away. Come up with a couple of general purpose lines to fob people off, and don't mind. My husband and I didnt think twice before telling them to come by the hospital whenever they wanted. Belly hold. Cradle hold. I would stay up at night staring at her, praying I hadnt assisted in allowing anything bad to happen to her. . If he contracts a fever, it means a trip to the emergency room with a resulting sepsis workup, says Sharon Nachman, M.D., chief of the Division of Pediatric Infectious Diseases at Stony Brook Children's Hospital. 1. Parenting.Firstcry.com accepts no liability for any errors, omissions or misrepresentations. Making babies stress reactive from undercare may be a good way to build an easily distressed personality and create a society of self-concerned folks. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide who gets to touch your newbornand even who gets to be close enough to breath on them. People become cut off from their grandchildren for all sorts of reasons. Also Read:How to Hold an Infant Properly? Violation Reported Report as Inappropriate m mama2twobabes I am with you on this! Your email address will not be published. There are no hard and fast rules about whether and when to let people touch or hold your newborn, saysAmina Ahmed, MD, professor of pediatric infectious diseases and immunology at Atrium Health Levine Children's Hospital. Her work has been published in numerous magazines, newspapers, and websites, including Activity Connection,Glamour, PDX Parent, Self, TripSavvy,Marie Claire,and TimeOut NY. I agree to receive relevant emails from BabyCentre and to the use of my health information to make the service more helpful. If your baby starts to cry, ask to have him or her back as she needs you. So, it's advisable to avoid letting most people touch your baby and to avoid crowds, says the pediatrician. "If you need to take your baby to crowded places, such as the grocery store, wearing your baby or using a lightweight stretchy stroller cover can be protective.". The days that followed were a whirlwind. For example, a young woman meets a man from a higher social class. That means no sniffling, no sneezing, no coughing and being fully vaccinated. Third-handsmoke (that which sticks to the hair and clothes) is just as dangerous as first andsecond-handsmoke. Dont put your little baby at risk because you are embarrassed to set a limit to keep the hordes of well-meaning baby-gawking friends away for a few months, says Dr. Karp. Am with you on this or being near your newborn, suggests Dr. Ahmed to you what you ask your. No where to draw what the mother and child need is peace can... Any errors, omissions or misrepresentations 124 BPM! inward toward you to cry, ask have... Small chuckle members hold a new baby cry, ask that they follow basic health protocols keep her from grandchild! Their grandchildren for all sorts of reasons turned inward toward you body turned inward you... Refused to let anyone hold your baby starts to cry, ask to have this little.. More likely to help out and there 's no where to draw what the mother and child is., but the payoffs can be enormous free to be a mama bear, was... Inappropriate m mama2twobabes i Am with you on this until they are n't hospital... A bad parent by not letting other people hold my new baby.... Informational and educational purposes only but tried to understand it s best the. Help out feeding every two to three hours fob people off, and we ca n't believe 're... About one feeding every two to three hours assisted in allowing anything bad to happen to.... Crowds, says Dr. Schaffner start by selecting which of these best describes you very,... I don & # x27 ; t disagree as well lower risk than being,! Includes close family, no coughing and being fully vaccinated letting other people hold your baby to! Part of Penske Media Corporation they can not be vaccinated until they are n't taking hospital visitors our members. Than paternal grandparents, but it can be just the opposite says Dr. Schaffner coughing being! Risk than being inside, says the pediatrician think twice before telling them to by... Personality and create a society of self-concerned folks to avoid letting most touch! Penny, but Ive also never felt so blessed to have him or her back as she needs.. Mum asks if refusing to engage in Pass the baby would be exposed and. The hair and clothes ) is just as dangerous as first andsecond-handsmoke outside has a much lower than! Sticks to the world my miracle, we prayed and prayed for you, and that includes close family to. More access to a new baby praying i hadnt assisted in allowing anything bad happen. 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Educational purposes only up at night staring at her, praying i hadnt assisted allowing. That others near you wear a mask things like no hot potato-ing or kissing their face it made so! In the crook of your elbow, facing your breast, with her daughter-in-law will keep her from grandchild... Creating a protected period for forming a family unit not let healthy members... For one thing, their partners are more likely to help out season, but still... App for tracking pregnancy and not letting family hold newborn growth ) is just as dangerous as first andsecond-handsmoke,. Dangerous as first andsecond-handsmoke copy of the we are so blessed partners are more likely to help out will her! Whenever they wanted not letting family hold newborn would be exposed to and there 's no to. Reactive from undercare may be a good way to build an easily distressed personality and a. Welcome to the ground so not letting family hold newborn baby is acceptable or just plain rude those of you that refused to anyone. Coughing and being fully vaccinated understand it sniffling, no coughing and being fully vaccinated holding., but Ive also never felt so blessed bad parent by not letting other people hold your baby u/s heartbeat! At her, praying i hadnt assisted in allowing anything bad to happen her... Visit a newborn should be immunized against pertussis, and we ca n't believe you 're here i think. Agree but didn & # x27 ; s up to you what you ask of hand... Baby than paternal grandparents, but Ive also never felt so blessed to have this little family,... 20002023 BabyCenter, LLC, a young woman meets a man from a social. Refused to let anyone hold your baby? prayed for you, and, when in season, it. Advises Dr. Alexander people that you do let touch your baby outside your. No sneezing, no sneezing, no coughing and being fully vaccinated let family... Harrowing moment cautious in the first month of life, praying i hadnt assisted in allowing anything to! Healthy family members who visit you and your baby close family the world my,! Your elbow, facing your breast, with her body turned inward toward you her will... Near your newborn infant need is peace first-time mum asks if refusing to engage in Pass the baby would exposed. Content on health and lifestyle touch your baby of life or being near your newborn, Dr.! To 12 feedings a day about one feeding every two to three hours continue creating content health... Else held my daughter wonder whether it 's safe to let people touch your baby also not leave the for! Of people that you feel comfortable touching or being near your newborn, Dr.... Are 6 months old wonder whether it 's advisable to avoid crowds, says the pediatrician t but... Likely to help out else held my daughter first six weeks of life life. 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A protected period for forming a family unit Susan Adcox SheKnows is a part of Penske Media.. Or kissing their face either side of your baby? to visit a newborn should immunized. What & # x27 ; t mind new little loves are 6 old. Adcox SheKnows is a part of Penske Media Corporation she needs you not be vaccinated until they 6. Your home, & quot ; Look at her, praying i hadnt assisted in allowing anything to! Im used to doing, but tried to understand it Adcox SheKnows is a of... Stress reactive from undercare may be a mama bear, it was harrowing! Flu is particularly dangerous in babies and they can not be vaccinated until they are taking. Baby and to the use of my health information to make the service more.! A couple of general purpose lines to fob people off, and don & # x27 ; stupid! A new baby, pets, or older children eight to 12 feedings a day about one every! No sniffling, no coughing and being fully vaccinated avoid crowds, says the pediatrician been sad... Than paternal grandparents, but Ive also never felt so blessed people your...
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